“No quiere curarse”, “No acepta tratamiento, no cumple pautas, no sigue consejos”, “Le gusta estar mal”, “No tiene fuerza de voluntad”…
Así podríamos seguir hasta el infinito, en cuanto a juicios que se hacen (hacemos) respecto de los demás. Esas personas que no evolucionan, que se anclan en sus patologías, depresiones, ansiedad, adicciones, intentos fallidos de recuperación, recorridos por diversos profesionales o incluso rechazo a ningún tipo de intervención. ¿Que pasa con estas personas? ¿Acaso no quieren recuperarse? ¿Les gusta estar así? “Lo hacen para llamar la atención”, se dice a veces y en muchos casos es cierto.
Conseguir una atención que en otras circunstancias no se consigue, al igual que el niño que sólo recibe atención cuando se le regaña o critica por su mala conducta, muchas personas han interiorizado desde su más tierna infancia que sólo son arropadas, escuchadas, tenidas en cuenta si sus síntomas hablan, si sus patologías persisten.
Esto obviamente, es un proceso inconsciente en la mayoría de los casos, la persona no lo lleva a cabo de manera premeditada y razonada.
Las patologías son un mecanismo de defensa de nuestra psique para desconectarnos del dolor, mientras entramos en el bucle de la obsesión no “sentimos el dolor”, mientras vomitamos o dejamos de comer, castigando nuestro cuerpo el dolor emocional no nos invade, mientras la adicción destroza nuestra vida nos anestesiamos.
¿Pero por qué no quieren ayuda? Hay muchas razones. Tal vez la patología este tan enquistada que es muy difícil que tomen conciencia de que tienen un problema. El miedo y la desconfianza le impiden abrirse en muchos casos, en otros el miedo al dolor, les insta a agarrarse fuerte a la única manera que conocen para gestionar ese trauma, esa infancia desgarradora, ese vacío afectivo, en definitiva, su verdad.
La verdad duele, y a veces la mejor manera que sabemos es mirar a otro lado, “hacer como si no existe”, “si me entretengo con otra cosa, si centro mi vida en otra historia, lo que verdaderamente me daña desaparecerá”.
Por eso siempre digo que los síntomas de las diversas patologías son sólo la punta del iceberg.
Reducir el tratamiento exclusivamente a psicofármacos que solo embotan nuestras emociones y nos impiden ventilar, sacar y aprender a gestionarlas de manera sana no es el camino, pero es el camino fácil, pastilla y punto.
No todo el mundo está preparado para mirar su verdad de frente, para hacerse a la idea que tolerar la incomodidad y el dolor de la vida son las claves de la recuperación psicológica, que las crisis emocionales son naturales y como tales hay que tratarlas.
No todos están en un momento vital en el que acepten ayuda, no quieren estar así, pero en ese momento no están dispuestos a aceptar su dolor.
Tal vez nunca lo estén y hay que respetarlos. Aunque incomode ver la actitud de victimismo e indefensión de tu hermana, madre, padre, marido… hay que aceptar que son dueños de su vida en ultima instancia y que nadie puede recuperarse sin no se implican de manera activa.
Esto para mí como profesional también es difícil de encajar, en mi afán por ayudar, también he podido caer en el error de juzgar o juzgar mi validez terapeutica.
En definitiva, no, no están así porque quieren, nadie sufre porque quiere hacerlo, lo que mantienen, lo hacen por miedo, por sentirse incapaces de hacer otra cosa (indefensión aprendida), por miedo a enfrentarse a un pasado que creen que escondido en su interior no les corroe.
15 comentarios
JOSE · 24 marzo, 2023 a las 12:35
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Estoy muy emocionada de que mi matrimonio roto haya sido restaurado. Mi ex amante ha regresado después de que nos dejó a mí y a nuestros hijos por otra mujer. Me alegré mucho de conocer al Dr. Gerald y de cómo ayudó a muchas personas a recuperar a su amante, así que lo contacté para que me ayudara también. Así fue como el Dr. Gerald me ayudó a recuperar a mi amante. Muchas gracias al Dr. Gerald porque nunca pensé que mi ex amante volvería a mí tan rápido con su hechizo. Eres el mejor y el más grande del mundo. Si estás aquí y necesitas que tu ex amante regrese o que tu amante se mude con otra mujer, no llores más, contacta a este poderoso lanzador de hechizos ahora. Aquí está su contacto:
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